Loss adjustment

My dad died unexpectedly on June 11. He was 83, still working, still driving, still searching for the perfect glass of wine, still reciting Shakespeare, still living.

This line from the eulogy my brother gave says it best:

You were never in any doubt about what Dad thought about something, he would want to be remembered for what he was and what he did, and not for what he wasn’t, and I can almost hear him telling us to get on with life, to look after Mum, make sure the wine was good, and to enjoy life as richly as he did

I haven’t felt like blogging – or cooking, or even writing – but hopefully ‘normal’ service will resume soon. It will be the ‘new normal’, as they say in Christchurch as the ground roars under their feet. My dad dying feels like my own personal earthquake, but the only option is to pick up and keep going.



  1. June 22, 2011 / 7:27 pm

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.
    I lost my Mum a few years ago, I know how it feels to have your world rocked by this type of earthquake.
    Take care of yourself. And cook your Dad's favourite dish for yourself whenever you need to.

  2. June 22, 2011 / 8:01 pm

    I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I know how hard it was for me to lose my parents. There's not much anyone can say except we're thinking of you and don't forget to look after yourself.

  3. June 22, 2011 / 8:06 pm

    Lots of love and hugs Lucy. May you feel the big bubble of loving prayers and thoughts around you. xoxo

  4. June 22, 2011 / 8:10 pm

    Dear Lucy, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Your father seemed like a person who enjoyed life and lived it to the fullest. May he rest in peace.

  5. June 22, 2011 / 8:11 pm

    I'm so sorry for your loss sweetheart. I thought it had gone rather quiet of late. Well, take as much time as you need. We'll be here waiting for your brilliant posts. And remember to bake a sweet, chocolatey, creamy and very naughty cake for you dear pops!!! Loads of love and I'm here if you need me. Xxxx

  6. June 22, 2011 / 8:19 pm

    So sorry for your loss.


  7. June 22, 2011 / 8:27 pm

    So sorry to hear this. I hope you are taking care of yourself and that you can begin to enjoy life again soon, but don't rush back to us here in blogland. You will remain there in my google reader – and your next post, whenever you are ready, will pop up for me to enjoy!

  8. June 22, 2011 / 9:16 pm

    So beautifully put, says Kimberley, reaching for the tissues. xx

  9. June 22, 2011 / 10:31 pm

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is such a sad and unfortunate event in ones life. Take care and we will all be here when you feel a little more like yourself.

  10. June 22, 2011 / 10:43 pm

    I'm so sorry Lucy. Losing your father is like having your legs kicked out from underneath you. But we'll all be here when you feel like coming back. Take your time. Don't rush.
    Claire xx

  11. June 23, 2011 / 12:48 am

    I am just so sorry for your loss. Your blog post to your father is so touching.

  12. June 23, 2011 / 7:20 am

    Really sorry to hear your sad news. Sending you lots of hugs and warmth from across the miles.

  13. June 23, 2011 / 11:26 am

    Lucy, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sending hugs your way…..

  14. June 23, 2011 / 12:20 pm

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad – take your time with life (and of course with blogging) and hope you are able to take it easy for a while – warm wishes to you and your family

  15. June 23, 2011 / 7:35 pm

    Oh Lucy, I'm so sorry…I know just how you must be feeling. It's something you can never prepare for. Your father looks like such a lovely man and it sounds like he had a really full life …busy to the end. You must have so many happy memories of your time with him to look back on and celebrate.

    Take care of yourself.

  16. June 23, 2011 / 8:04 pm

    Really sorry to hear this, Lucy. Good thoughts your way.

  17. June 23, 2011 / 11:39 pm

    So sorry to hear that Lucy. Sending you a virtual hug – for you and your wee family. Arohanui, Catherine xx

  18. June 24, 2011 / 3:34 am

    so sorry, my thoughts are with you xx

  19. June 24, 2011 / 12:09 pm

    hey lucy, i'm so sorry to hear about your dad
    XOX maree

  20. June 25, 2011 / 6:50 am

    What a terrible shock for you and your family Lucy. I lost both my parents six months apart just a few years ago and am certainly living in a new kind of 'normal' but life does indeed go on. Although I miss them terribly I have some wonderful memories of them as I'm sure you do of your father and as the years go by those memories really do sustain me. Thinking of you…

  21. July 1, 2011 / 10:37 pm

    Hi Lucy, I am so sorry for your loss. My prayer is with you and your family. Hugs. Michael

  22. July 3, 2011 / 8:25 pm

    So very sorry to hear about your dad. My dad is 76 and I can't even imagine the world without him in it. Much love to you and your family x

  23. July 4, 2011 / 9:14 am

    Good to have you back Lucy, take your time, take care, and cherish the memories.

  24. July 6, 2011 / 9:40 am

    Have just been catching up on blog posts and saw this now. I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. All the best to you and yours. xo

  25. July 9, 2012 / 9:30 am

    I am just catching up on blog posts and can I say how VERY VERY sorry I am to hear about your dad….my mum and dad are still with me, in their 80's and I dread the day that this happens to me, oh Lucy, how sad, but I hope that in time you can cherish the memories you had with your dad and maybe even smile at some of the fun times you both shared…..LOTS of love, Karen

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